haru_ran | Like the ocean

Title: Like the ocean
Beta: Unbetaed
Pairing: YunJae, slight YooSu
Universe: Alternative
Genre: Drama, Romance
Length: 01/13 + Prologue + Epilogue
Rating: PG-13
Warning: angst

Summary: Born with something, that was differing him from every other child, Kim JaeJoong had to go through a lot of obstacles and hardships. He had to struggle with acceptance from his family and society to gain a normal life.

[prologue]

Chapter 01: Why am I so different?

Kim JaeJoong grew up as a happy child. His mother loved him dearly, loved him like two people would do because his father, named YeSung, had died young with 24 in an accident with his motorcycle even before JaeJoong had been born.

He loved his mother just as much, loved the fairy tales she told him before he went to bed and loved to play games with her throughout the day. He loved his grandparents, too, since they were gentle and nice to him. They were totally different than all his other relatives. They wouldn't speak with him and would always hold their own children back to play with him. He never knew why it was like this.

JaeJoong was a confused and lonely child. Ever since he came to primary school at the age of six his schoolmates were ignoring him. They were whispering behind his small back, would always reject him whenever he asked them if he could play together with them. Even his teachers were sometimes strange.

Then he met Kim JunSu. The somewhat chubby boy was the first other person that had ever spoken to JaeJoong. Well, he was the first that JunSu had ever gotten to know because the teacher had said he should sit down next to JaeJoong. They became friends very easily as JunSu was happy to have a new friend at his new school so fast. And together with JunSu was always his little brother ChangMin who was just four years old when JaeJoong first had met him.

JunSu would always protect his friend from their mocking schoolmates. Freak, monster, strange and alien were words JaeJoong had to hear very often, but he never knew why the other children were saying those kind of things to him. JunSu and ChangMin were the only ones that always said that he was just as normal as they were.

JaeJoong was a sad child, especially at family gatherings. His aunts and uncles would always hold his cousins back that wanted to play with him, saying them that they had to stay away from the black sheep, the rotten apple and the blemish of the family. He would always spend those gatherings with his mother and grandparents, watching the other children by playing together with sad eyes.

“Umma, can we go home?” he would always ask his mother, looking up to her with his sad and hurt eyes, a hint of grey shimmering in them.

“Of course, sweetheart,” JangLi would always answer, kissing his forehead tenderly before they would leave to go home together with her parents.

JaeJoong was a terrified child. When he got older, the other children started to humiliate him. They hid his clothes during sports, were making fun of him whenever they could. Broken pencils, notebooks dumped into the trash can, rotten food thrown at him or stuffed into his satchel were things he had to go through almost every day. He would always cry at night, snuggling into the warm embrace of his mother as she would try to soothe his pain. She wanted to do something but she wasn't able to.

She even was about to take JaeJoong from his school as he came once home with bruises and scratches on his small body, droplets of blood and dirt evident on his head with black hair. JunSu had told her with tears in his eyes that some older boys had kicked and punched JaeJoong, holding him back when he tried to help his best friend.

“They said I'm a monster,” JaeJoong had cried out, hugging his mother tight as he told her what had happened. The older boys had thrown him onto the ground out of the ordinary, had kicked and punched his small body immediately without mercy. They never had told him what he had done wrong to receive such a treatment.

JangLi was crying in the night, holding her son tight in her embrace as she thought about the painful life JaeJoong was going through, feeling guilty for the hard existence she had given him.

JaeJoong was an intimidated 11-year old child, overly shy and never spoke a lot. He was playing with his little red car, driving with it over the ground and was always in grasp and the field of vision of his mother. He, his mother and grandparents were once again at a family gathering. He disliked these kind of gatherings because he always was ignored by his relatives and was always all alone.

“Erm, hi,” he heard a voice addressing him. He turned his head around, facing the boy that had spoken to him. He had light-brown hair and was slightly taller than himself. Next to him stood another boy with brown hair, having the same height as he had. Both looked the same age as he did.

“C-can we play with you?” the slightly taller boy asked shyly, smiling softly at JaeJoong who couldn't believe that they were really talking with him. A small smile was creeping into his face.

“Really?” he asked, his face beaming even more as the light-brown haired boy nodded.

“What's your name?” the taller boy asked when he sat down next to JaeJoong, placing his own little blue and green cars onto the ground.

“JaeJoong. And you?” JaeJoong asked back, smiling widely as he was happy to have new friends. This time some of his cousins.

“I'm YunHo and this is my twin brother YooChun,” the light-brown haired boy replied, pointing to the slightly smaller boy next to him who placed his little yellow car next to JaeJoong's red one.

The young boys were playing together peacefully, happy giggling and chatting reaching the ears of JangLi as she was watching her son with a genuine smile.

“Jung YunHo and Jung YooChun!” an angry female voice shouted out loud all of the sudden, causing the three boys to frown frantically.

“U-umma,” YooChun stuttered, scared by the sudden outburst of his mother that was storming towards them, her face angry red.

“What the hell are you doing there?” she asked her sons with an angry tone, looking at YunHo and YooChun by turns.

“We're just playing,” YunHo replied, confused by the fury of his mother.

“Playing? With that?” his mother responded disgusted, pointing at JaeJoong who was deeply hurt at what his aunt had just said.

“Jung HaeWon!” JangLi shouted at the brown haired woman in her mid-thirties as she came closer to her distantly related cousin. “Don't you dare to talk like that about my son!” she screamed at her. YunHo and YooChun were looking at each other in confusion, not understanding what was going on. JaeJoong was silent, his small body trembling under the tears he tried to hold back.

“Son? You call that son? He is the incarnation of all evil. Oh, but I forgot. It's your entire fault that this creature is walking on earth,” HaeWon spat back, looking disgusted at JaeJoong who was at the brink of tears, overly hurt by those piercing words. The remaining relatives were trying to ignore the fight or were thoroughly gathering around HaeWon, everyone thinking the same about the young black haired boy.

“Shame on you. He is an innocent child,” JangLi said back harshly, feeling guilty that JaeJoong had to witness that kind of talk.

“U-umma,” the soft voice of JaeJoong reached her ears, the soft sobbing evident.

“Come here, Jae-ah,” she said softly to her crying son, kneeling down as she hugged him gently before she helped him to stand up. JaeJoong was clinging onto her arm tightly, tears falling out of his eyes with each step. He climbed into the lap of his mother when they were at the table of his grandparents, hugging her tight as this was the only embrace he knew felt so warm and secure and buried his teary face in her shoulder. JangLi was holding him tight to her heart, caressing his back softly as she whispered soothing words to him, kissing the top of his head again and again. Her parents were watching JaeJoong's trembling figure with worried eyes, feeling guilty that they had thought of JaeJoong like all his other relatives, too, when he was still unborn.

On the other side of the room was Jung HaeWon scolding her two sons, telling them once again that they had to stay away from JaeJoong because he was abnormal. YooChun just nodded his head, being too terrified to say no to his mother who was so scary when she was furious, even though he didn't understand why he shouldn't play together with JaeJoong. The same was for YunHo.

YunHo couldn't understand why his mother was so against him and YooChun playing with their cousin. Wasn't he just as normal as they were? He had hands like him, slightly smaller as his own though, and a face, not as small as his but fuller lips and bigger eyes. Well, his eyes were blue though, not brown like his own and the ones of his brother and family. But that couldn't be it, could it? How could beautiful eyes like these be the reason that JaeJoong was being labelled as abnormal?

He went into his room, thinking of something that maybe could cheer JaeJoong up again. It hurt him to see JaeJoong crying over something he didn't understand. He slowly made his way towards JaeJoong who was clasping his mother so tight after he was sure that his own mother wouldn't notice him. He didn't want to give her a new reason to yell at him, his brother or JaeJoong and his mother.

“E-excuse me,” he said shyly as he stood next to JaeJoong and his mother, hearing the soft sobbing and hiccuping of the smaller boy.

“Jae, honey. There is someone for you, look at him, hm?” JangLi spoke softly, trying to convince her son to look at YunHo. He slowly turned his face around, facing YunHo with his teary eyes and sniffed slightly.

“I'm sorry for my mother,” YunHo apologized even though he wasn't sure what he was apologizing for, bowing slightly. JaeJoong looked confused at the small bowed back in front of him, not knowing how he should react as he wiped his tears with the sleeve of his pullover away.

“Ah, here. That's for you,” YunHo suddenly said when he reminded himself of why he had come to JaeJoong. He held a stuffed animal into the face of JaeJoong, wanting to give it the sad boy. JaeJoong eyed the small-sized tiger with confusion written on his face, hesitating to take the orange yet slightly yellow stuffed animal with black stripes.

“It will take away your tears so that you can smile again,” YunHo said with a smile, shoving the small-sized tiger into JaeJoong's arms. JaeJoong eyed the tiger that was sitting in his lap and stared up to him.

“Thank you,” he said softly, sniffing as he smiled slightly at YunHo, clenching the tiger against his small chest.

“Come, honey. We have to go,” JangLi interrupted the conversation between the two boys, relieved that her son was smiling again.

“Can we play together again?” YunHo asked shyly when JaeJoong and his mother were about to go away. His face was beaming as JaeJoong nodded slightly and smiled softly back at him before he left the house of YunHo and his family with his own small one.

JaeJoong was lying in the bed of his mother, too afraid to sleep alone in his own little chamber after the hurtful day. He was clenching the small-sized tiger against his small chest, smiling genuinely.

“Ah, my JaeJoongie is smiling again. That's good,” JangLi said with a smile as she lay down next to her son and drew him into her arms. “He's a nice boy, neh? I hope you will become good friends,” she said, kissing JaeJoong's head tenderly and streaked her fingers slightly through JaeJoong's raven locks.

“Mhm,” JaeJoong agreed with a slight nod and soft smile, thinking of YunHo and YooChun. He frowned slightly as he remembered the furious face of the two boys' mother.

“Umma?” he asked softly, looking up to his mother as he wanted to know why he was always treated like that.

“Yes, Baby?” JangLi replied, sensing that her son was going to ask what she wanted to tell him when he was old enough to understand. And as it seemed, JaeJoong was more than ready to know it.

“Why am I so different?” JaeJoong asked with curious yet anxious eyes. JangLi smiled warily at him, staring into his blue eyes where a flash of grey was shimmering through.

“I'll tell you, sweetheart. Of why you are so different, of me and your father and of why you have these beautiful blue eyes,” she said, caressing JaeJoong's cheek gently as she began to tell the story of his existence, feeling the lump growing in her throat when she spoke about Kim JangLi and Kim YeSung.

[02 Kim JangLi and Kim YeSung]

*****

*sobs* My poor little JaeJoong. Just 11 years old and already so marked. ;______;